He leaves tomorrow.
God that sucks.
I really hope distance does make the heart grow fonder.
You know?
I hope we keep in touch. slightly at least. I hope I don't freak to much cause we can't be together all the time. I tend to do that codependent thing sometime.
I had such a break down on Wed. God i wish my weeks didn't start until wed and ended on Friday. I would be set.
After the weekend my brain usually takes about 3 days to get situated. Now if i could only manage my classes and schedule around that i would be set.
i hate class. Not really. I just hate the way i am. I love school , i love learning, i just feel incapable sometimes you know. Prob not.
The Doctor up'd my dosage. So thats good. Hope it works so i don't have to see a psychologist. Now that would really make me freak i think. I just want to know that i;m normal.
Pray that i get my shit together sooon. pray it out.
My doctor is so personal. Its almost to much. I like the fact that she cares .. but its weird when someone cares so much yet , doesn't really know you. i guess.. she knows more than some. Isn't that weird. A women i barley know , knows some of my darkest secrets . Thats so fucked.
When i was at the doctors today she came in and asked how i felt. I said good . she said well prolly not that good. I was like well no shit. I'm depressed, so really i never feel good. And , when you ask that question , no one is really asking the question to really know. They just are being sociable. I just thought it was just a weird event. i donno.
my stories suck.
i was literally laying in a ball on my bed earlier shaking. Vicadine. Damn that will be the end of me. You know though, sometimes i just like to not be me. I just like to escape.
i feel like a verizon commercial.
That my "network" .. is my Food , School , Teachers ,Mother , Kev , Friends ,Bills and they are all following me all day long. Constantly. When i take Vicadine its like a wall is put between me and all the bullshit. Its such a nice feeling. To have all the bullshit set aside for four hours.
then you shake. That sucks. But its like i shake off my old skin and start to fall back in place.
1 comment:
shake off ur old skin ew lol. but I liked the post. ur so honest. and ur definitely right about the how are u, I'm good, wait that's a fake answer thing. I feel like if I actually say how I am, it's being too much of an exhibitionist and ppl don't like that. but they shouldn't ask questions they don't want to know the answers to! and don't worry, ur heart will grow fonder.
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