Its been a long time my dear friend

I know that no one reads this, but maybe one person does.. maybe one person checks up on me, and to you, my single fan, I toast this Enviga to you.

And to the man with the red flannel on today, I say "go kill yourself, you have nothing else to live for"

And to the kids who work in the bookstore I say " I'm sorry that your life has come to this"

I want to wear everything that Carrie wore in SEX and The City. Its most amazing.






Lets talk about this for a minute.
Sex , Sex, Sex and the City.
I laughed and laughed
I cried and cried
my heart beated faster ( i almost had an heart attack)
I was angry, i could have killed (Steve and Big) how dare he!

How dare he leave his beautiful bride, at the alter. God, like so i know that she didn't think of him and whatever.. but common its like he really didn't care. He didn't I would have been like " you want to marry me, well then get right, cause this wedding is going to be splendifourous, and you can't do nothing about it boo" Carrie should have snap on his ass. Well, she did .. i loved when she beat him with the flowers. That is so something i would have done, and i love her for that.

i want her eye makeup.. after this blog I'm going to look up how to do my make up like that , all sexified.

what else...

Jennifer Hudson! She looks so pretty, i love her skin. I need to get on that coco butter Danny says, and i believe that shit.

Miranda! ew she just stomps around. like ok, shes a lezzy you can tell, everyone has been able to tell for years. He neck is to long, she needs to get that shit fixed.

Charlotte was annoying. I hate when she does that nose scrunch thing, it too much. She over acts way to much. Maybe it to make Sarah Jessica Look better.

Samantha! my heart. I will, I promise be her. I'm going to L.A and fucking a younger man until my heart goes out i swear to you.

In other news,

NKOTB are back ! thank god, I love you Danny Wood. You could never be more sexy.

"I was like
Hey girl can I get your number
I remember what you told me, too
Don’t call after 10 but you know that I did
Cause I couldn’t stop thinking bout you
I think about you in the summertime
And all the good times we had, baby
It’s been a few years and I can’t deny
The thought of you still makes me crazy
I think about you in the summertime
I’m sittin here in the sun
With you on my mind"

My letter to those bastardos

"So, we were in the chapter where you take your girlfriend up to that empty bedroom at the party." - Lucas



What happens if they do not get together. That would be like if Joey does not get with Pacey or Dawson . Who it was escapes me at the moment. None the less, if they do not end up together I'm pretty sure my life will stop in its place. Time will freeze, up will be down , black will be white and wrong will be so right (but not in the good way). Why oh Why would they even think about doing this to me. How DARE THEY. I'm going to be like Jim and write a letter.


Dear One Tree hill,

You BASTARDS!!! How dare you! How DARE YOU!!! Peyton and Lucas are meant for each other. They go hand in hand like Pb & J. How could you do this to the world? How could you do this to me ,Kayla, Katie and all the other random-sad girls-who thinks everyone leaves- and wishes a man like Lucas would come and save them? I want to commend you on bringing back Dan to the show, but if that means that Peyton will not get Lucas then you can stick Dan up your ass hole. Also, you should change the name of "One Tree Hill" to "Everyone leaves". That is all you do. You fuck Peyton up ever single episode, all she needs is Lucas to rescue her will love. Only he is able to do that, cause everyone LEAVES! Don't you understand? As well, do not give Brooke a baby and doooo not have Lucas end up with her. She does not need a baby she already has tons of money (she like the Lisa Turtle of the show) she doesn't need any more success. Good DAY!

My regards,
Adecia.

Marry Me, Marry me.

"Tree Hill is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world. Maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you."


I love this show. OMG!!! Payton's brother( not real brother) totally was obsessed with her! and tried to kill her all scream like !!! Loves it.

Oh, and ...

Please love me Chad Micheal Murray..

The Best Movie I have ever seen (actually no, but it was fucking amazing!( I think it was actually better than Old Contry , but dont tell Javier))

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Jean-Do the French editor of Elle, a father of two and a man who takes in the luxuries of life, has a fatal stroke at 43. Before his stroke, Jean-Do is a quick witted play boy who never fully lives his life. He never lets himself fully love someone; he never spends quality time with his kids and never sits with his father long enough for him to finish his thoughts. To many he looks like a man who has it all, but really Jean-Do has very little. His life comes to a pivotal stop the day he had his stroke that leaves him trapped in a world that resembles a diving bell. He is left in a condition where he is confined to a bed and can only communicate through blinks. Viewers see the use of his imagination, memories and voices of the people in his new life right through the eyes of Jean-Do himself. In the last years of his life he uses the flashes of memories, which come to him as quick as butterfly wings, to dictate a book about his life. This movie is a heartbreakingly-funny-inspirational tale that leaves the audience wanting to make the best of their life, before it is too late.

Sounds in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly put great emphasis on the struggle of Jean-Do which leaves who ever watches inspired. Most of the movie is played out without music, memories being the only exception. When the viewer is experiencing Jean-Do’s life as a stroke victim the audience is able to hear the thoughts that go on in his head. There is no background music that steers away from his cries of loneliness and quick witted humor. I was riveted by his humor the whole way through the movie, every time I wanted to cry it was followed up by a time I wanted to laugh out loud. I think that this was important part of the overall movie because it made his experience real. Instead of feeling distant from Jean-Do, as if he was a person one could never relate to, the audience felt instantly attached, because his thoughts we exactly like the ones any person would have. The sound let the viewer feel what it is like to be trapped in a diving bell. The sounds let the audience hear the struggled Jean-Do had to go through to take back his life , and to write a book which left the viewer feeling inspired to take back thier own life by living it.

As like the sound, the way the movie was shot played a huge part in the experience of the film. As the movie starts the camera fades in and out as Jean-Do gains consciousness. For me, this was a powerful effect because it instantly placed viewer inside Jean-Do. The whole movie the viewer looking through his eyes and they know this because of how the camera moved. It moved as his head would so the audiences were only seeing what he saw. The Diving Bell and The Butterfly camera was very effective in placing the viewer right in the mists of his struggle and courage that left the viewer wanting to live their life the same way.

The way the movie was shot was as powerful as the characters. There were three doctors in the movie that tried to help Jean-Do overcome his ailment. The head doctor never said anything sugar coated to Jean-Do. He told him flat out in the start of the movie that his condition was rare, fatal and that he probably would not get through it. This character was important in the movie because it let the spectators know how awful his situation was. Without this character the movie would play never truly depicting of his situation. Another doctor that was there helped him move his mouth and thought everything he did was a miracle. This outlook on the situation gave the viewer hope that he would conquer his stroke. The last notable doctor established his new form of communication. She taught him how to communicate using his eyes, when he though he never would be able to converse again. She truly cared about Jean-Do which in turn made the viewer truly care about him. When she was working with him the viewer would watch for his blinks as she did. Although Jean-Do was unable to fully communicate his feelings what he did say was very powerful. For example, when a lover called him telling him she could not see him in that condition but then asked if he wanted to see her. He was not able to tell her all he wanted to tell her but he was able to say “Every single day”. Those few words made could make a person’s heart break in half. Right after he said those words I wanted to jump into the movie and give him a kiss. She taught him with so much love that it inspired who ever watched to do the same thing.

Watching The Diving Bell and the Butterfly made me want to live my life to the fullest. Jean-Do never thought he would have a stroke, so he never did the things he should have done. When he was living with the stroke he wanted to badly to do the things he never did. He was not able to be a dad to his children after he had the stroke but that was the time when he wanted to be their father the most. He was kicking himself for taking for granted the time he could have spent with them. I never want to look back on my life wishing I should have done things. A stroke, a fatal accident, or any sort of life threatening experience can happen to anyone, so we should all make the most of the time we had. This is a movie everyone should see. People today need to be inspired to live their lives instead of taking it for granted as he did. We should all learn from Jean-Do’s life trapped in a diving bell with butterfly memories and make the most of the time we have.

Comm'on

I should be doing homework. Even though i do not really have any. Gotta make it to that damn orchestra this weekend. Hopefully Mateo still wants to join in on the fun.

So i def need to remember that i can't take Ambien if i only have like 4 hours to sleep. Cause i did that , and omg. Like i was driving off the dayum road. Oh! and i missed my exit to veterans .. and found myself in Lexington. I do not think i have been there before. But i didn't stay to explore.

Fuck, i do not think i took my shit. Now that would explain a lot.

Oh i love American dad. Even though its exactly like Family guy , only with out the asides.

And i like the dad better. Peter is annoying and gross.

and the sister is way cooler and so is the brother.. and they have a great Alien. You ja-macian me crazy.!!

"Everyone falls in love sometime.Sometimes its wrong sometimes its right. For ever win someone must fail. But there comes a point when we exhale."

This song just opens up my spirit. Holy God, Thank you Jesus. Exhale! Let it be , let it , let it go , move up and over everything in this world.

Me and Mateo are making this weird cinnamon buns and cinnamon shit .. i think we heart cinnamon tonight.

Man hes soo worn out.

He needs a break from life. Poor Mateo. Loves to play the helpless.

I guess I hear everything.

"If I went through in the right direction , would I even care?"




Gotta start the day off with a good quote. A little Incubus for you ass. You know.
I started to relies that my best works of writing is that , that comes form my own life. My first paper in English was alright, but I didn't add enough personality to it. Its the personality of the writing that is voice. My voice comes out when I write about things that are true to me. Its was hard to write about Scientology even though i love it , and researched every which way about it. I still wasn't able to pull it off the way i would have liked. I kept searching through my writing for the reason. Why doesn't it sound exactly they way i like it. People liked it, it sounds good to them . Usually, I think people are to incompetent to understand what I'm trying to say. My aunt was like " the essay you wrote about grandpa , was divine" I was like " Why would your opinion of my writing mean anything to me? You are not Vonnegut , You are not Chaucer" .. and don't ever compare yourself to them. Don't act like you opinion is the end all of opinions. That oh yes , now that you gave you 'intelligent' opinion of my paper , I can now die in peace. What the hell? People if you don't know anything about a subject , chances are no one cares. Shes like a fucking grave digger or something ,maybe a dietitian I think , it all the same thing really.





Thats kinda what I've been thinking, since I saw "Into the Wild". Its a fucking slow ass movie , but the end , oh the end. You just need to watch it for the end. We all know he dies in the end but , wow , Sean Penn knows how to kill a person. Anyways the movie was about this kid who had 24 thousand and burned it all, then got jobs shoveling stuff and such to make money for tools to make it in the Alaskan wilderness. which in it self is kinda horrible. You burn money , that could be used to help other people , to then get a job , that someone more worth could have gotten? And in the end you die cause you eat a poisonous potatoes. Honestly? Honestly? You died from something that shitty. Also through you whole travels only one bad thing happened to you! But you die from not reading the book correctly and eating a bad potatoes! That is so annoying. This movie really glorified being homeless, because he didn't die of being homeless , he died from not reading a page correctly. He could have lived for years in that van in Alaska..but hes a dumbass. I feel like society wants me to feel bad for him. Btu I can't because he could still be around bettering his world. Before his left for the Alaskan wild he was going to go to Harvard Law. And despite all that .. He went to Alaska to be free for society and to free himself. Then he dies in Alaska because of his freedom that he wanted which forced him to have no food which then pushed him to have to eat plants.. get poisoned. The thing is , that book said if he would get it treated he would be fine. But he couldn't! He was to weak , he didn't know his way back. Its his need to be free and live away from society that killed him in the end. It wasn't the potatoes. Oh no, not the potatoes.




Anyway, back to my point about all jobs being the same. That is exactly how Alexander Supertramp saw it in the movie. It wasn't about what you do in life. It was about living your life. After all the things i have said that were bad about this movie , their is one thing that i completely believe in , and have believed for years. You have to live your life. You have to get a move on it. I am a pure example of a person who doesn't live it up.TODAY, I want to make everyday a little different. So that I can never say " I do the same thing everyday .. you know , the grind." I want to live in some way. Keep this blood flowing. To many people don't relies that they are just waiting to die. Even those who go out everyday and puke their livers up. You not living you life , your numbing your life. Just like those people who eat up numerous drugs so that don't have to feel pain. Well , feel pain. Pain at least lets you know that your not dead. Change you job , change you location , change your friends , change you book bag. I don't give a flying fuck.. change it all right now. their is no point in doing it all the same everyday. We only have so much time. 70 years , 40 years , who knows you might only have 6 days. When your dead you'll be kicking yourself all over, because you weren't the person you could have been . You were to afraid of pain , of happiness, of societies ideals , or people. You were to afraid to indulge into your self and figure out all of it. Figure out all it! Lets, stop living mundane lives. We have it in us to be everything we need to be. We just have to search for it , we just have to get there.