drive drive drive. buring of bones

I drove. I almost drove all the way , way far aways. I almost got lost. It was such an incredible feeling.
Being far away from everything right , everything I know. Was the Best feeling.
Crashing my car into the one in front of me seems like the same feeling easily.

The medicine officially is not working.
Or this weekend was officially not working.
Thanksgiving makes me want to cry.

I had a dream that I had two children. Lester and Autum. Two girls. Gorgeous girls.Perfect feeling.

Regina Spektor is not helping this pessimistic feeling.
I wonder if their is a pill that you can take if you uninhibitedly pessimistic.

My moods are so up and down.
i don't have the benefits.
I have no time.
Sylvia Plath disease runs through my blood.

Consequence of life. of sound.

My room is starting to reak of death.
Not to long , before ill be gone.
done done done done.
At what point will you relies?
When i call and you don't answer.That time it'll be to late.
Possibly. You'll have those thoughts , i shoulda woulda coulda . I'm dead now. And all the things you should have said, will never be said , will be gone. All the times i was everything you needed will be gone. All the memories. All the thoughts of , shes so sad, shes depressed, emo, pathetic, will be sunkin in with me .. 9 to ten feet. I'll request 14.
Barry all of those dreams , thoughts , memories , coulda , schemes. They will be gone , with all my lost lovers, who don't care about me.
you have the chance to deliver me.
You can make it far from an abomination.
not being able to move , the best feeling. Only feeling I'm wanting.

All the people run by , all the people run by.
Call everyone and tell them its all their fault.

Feel this
the ripping of your skin right off your bones, as you lay their awake.
Lost hope
Most Regret
your legs intertwined with the one you love , as he stabs you in the back.
punches in the face all day long.
Someone pulling your insides out with pliers through your nose.
all of you gone.

Fuck you for not getting it. If i was a better person , i wouldn't pray every night that you all feel this.

you deserve it.
We are all worth it all.
Prefer, your life.