Actually, I feel good today. I went to class!!! Heyoo. I have three papers do this next week so that will be joyful. Oh so excited. That is the problem with school you show up and they give you work. It is like "Hey be glad i came" "I'm paying for your fucking rent , don't be a bitch." If you think about it , Professors are pretty much the help. You pay them big bucks to teach you so , you do not have to teach yourself. I think we should just regard them as if they are our maids or gardeners. I guess they are right when they say , rich kids are the only ones able to go to school.
I'm back on my Enviga. What is that you ask? That best no calorie , calorie burning energy drink. Because I need to be more hyper than I already am. When my mood/brain whatever, is going through W&G ( thats what i call my episodes now, Will and Grace) I have absolutely no energy. Even though I take 4 energy/metabo pills everyday. When my mood is good I have so much energy that i stutter or have an accent. When I was in Psychology today talking to Lisa ( lazy eye or just crzy? not sure.) I was trying to ask for the notes and I stuttered through it five times, because I was talking so fast. Then at random times random words will come out with a English accent. i wonder if anyone notices. Probably . Figures.
Can't stop thinking about my X today. Just kinda of thinking of how it used to be or how it could have been. That sucks. I wish I could dial a number into his brain to see if he thinks of the same things. Actually I just want to know if he thinks of me ( cause I'm co-dependent like that). I wish I could pull a John Malkovich and just get inside him to see what he does. Not in a stalker way of course. Just a normal i miss the man who I cared so desperately about.
Snap out of it!! ( Cher voice) keeps echoing in my head.
Oh i will Cher , oh i will.
I am strong enough.
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