ahem.
okay.
how do you revive yourself when your drowing in your own filthy emotion?
I never knew that you could actually be paralyzed with sadnes. Until it happened to me.
Logically to me it makes no sense. I have no idea why i do not feel like life i worth living somedays,and other days i just want to make the most of what i have.
Logically i do not understand why i can not pick myself up from my chair and go hang out with my friends. I hate that i am not the same person i used to be. I hate that i feel fake. I hate that i feel guilty about the things that i feel i cannot change. I hate that i cannot change these things about me. I feel like i have no control . When did this happen when did i loose control of my life. Why didn't anyone help me or stop me. I wonder to myself many night why does no one care. when don't i have friends like i use to . why don't i have the life i'm supposed to have. what the fuck am to be doing. What the hell kind of life am i living. Will i go to heaven , even thoght i have been diagnosed.
I hate how envious of everyones elses life.
Why the fuck does everyone have everything that i want.
Why can't i turn back time like cher.
Why the fuck was she able. to .
I can't believe i sound like all those whinny bastards i hate.
I just want to be everything i want to be.
I just want all my hopes and dreams to come true.
Man i just want to be conviently loved.
I want someone to take care of .
Someone to share everything with.
I had that. What the fuck happened. You know he says he can help me with anything .. yet i don't have the one thing that i think will do the most good.
ewe i'm gross in my self deprication
i promise next blogggggg will be better..
just laugh bitches , just laugh.
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1 comment:
I think u know u can have anything u want, ur just too afraid to decide what, out of all the things, that is. Maybe it's a Taurus thing....I dn. But u know when u do decide and eventually get it, life will be AHmazing.
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